At Seed this last Sunday Pastor Shaun hit on an important truth. God grows us in times of darkness, if we let Him.
We typically don't choose circumstances that propel us into pain, into a feeling of loss of control, a time of distress, of helplessness.
And typically we find ourselves trying desperately to get out of whatever darkness has befallen us.
Throughout history, God has grown his people through times of darkness, where choices, circumstances, consquences have seemingly stopped forward movement. Shaun compared these times to a baby being formed in a womb.
In the womb, we have no choice about the timing of things, or freedoms to go about our own way. We are held in suspension while God knits us together. We don't choose how we grow or what grows next. We don't say "Now it's time to add my pinky finger, God..." He grows us in His perfect order. And we are born when we are ready to emerge into the light.
What if we approached each time of darkness in our lives as "womb time" where we trust God to grow us through it; experiencing the dark times without asking a lot of questions about why, but trusting Him to grow us?
God is growing me right now. This time of year holds a lot of history for me. We'd need to go to coffee to talk through all the events in my life that have occurred in late November and December through the years. Birth pains for each new year, I guess.
These days my mind is going back to my brother's suicide last year, and the painful end of my pastorate the year before. Both dark times for sure. And this year the reality of both are hitting me once again and I am grieving.
Grief can be that way, coming in little packets months and years later. I know when it comes I need to stop and experience it, or it will simply wait for me. God has brought me to an amazing season of my life that makes me smile every day, but I need to stop and be quiet. Rather than blowing past it or struggling to get out of it, I'm making time to experience it and allow God to grow me.
What kind of womb time are you experiencing? Avoiding? Are you trusting God to grow you through these times, even though you don't know how?